top nob, add title

Congratulations to the new top nob. Of all the nobs in the United Kingdom — which we were never tempted to temporarily change to the United Queendom back in the 50’s, as indeed we hadn’t bothered with through the two other longest reigns of a monarch before, when it was always a Queendom, because you Kings don’t seem to last as long — you are truly the top nob. The one thing that the tenuously united United Kingdom has always had — now that we are now fully in synch with actually having a King to go with our Kingdom again — is an inordinate number of nobs, a trickle-down effect that actually works, because from the top nob came the descendant nobs, to all the princes, princesses, dukes, duchesses, viscounts, marquess’s, earls and barons, and all their esses, and with them then even jumping up a few common people with lords and sirs, OBE’s and MBE’s.

We do like a good gong don’t we, a good title to go with the entitlement, the gifted land and estates that were the rich spoils of invading, conquering, subordinating, enslaving and enclosing, and just pure bullying over generations, yours to take, or to have taken in the top nob of the time’s name, and then to share out among the trickled down nobs… we should be thankful we are still needed to provide the riches I suppose, now that empire and enslavement for eye-watering grand house building and forelock tugging, servant-employing profits have been stopped… now there are only the gold carriages and crowns and the odd £100 million costs of a pointless procession of pageantry for us to cover from our labours, along with struggling to pay for shelter, power and food ourselves, while we are frisked by the black-clad police to ensure we are not equipped to protest, or be arrested and cleaned up out of the way if we were even thinking of holding a protest banner shouting ‘Not My Top Nob’…

But is is pleasing that us normal people have always cottoned on to how much nobbery there is in the country, and despite the nobs being in in their puppetmaster position, presiding over secrets and nods and winks hidden from our view, and having their preferred right-wing protectorate in power, visible signs of disquiet and discontent abounded… their mistake in the era of empire, to allow the new pretend nobbery of any old greedy Tom, Dick or Harry business spivs to compete for the spoils, and now only hanging on by their historical mollycoddled fingernails in the fantasy land of hereditary titles, with gold-plated carriages, toy soldiers and tasteless dressing-up cupboards… and the people, the people that seem to be able to be pushed and plundered at will, are really, really hurting, and groping their way towards pulling the curtain back…

What’s that word, beginning with R, that sounds like going around in circles but is actually a way of stopping being endlessly spun?

Embed from Getty Images

And then, watching the football highlights on Match of the Day last night, they showed the crowd enthusiastically singing the national ‘God Save the King’ anthem at the Manchester City ground, and I turned to my wife and said ‘I bet they just gloss over and edit out the anthem at the Liverpool game.’
“Why?” she said.
“Because it’s the BBC, the state broadcaster, and the Liverpool crowd will boo it.”
Which they always do.
But when the Liverpool game came on, they did have a few seconds of the crowds there booing the anthem, and so as it turns out, I was pleased by this.

They are a bunch of nobs, with a new top nob, but the end of nobbery is definitely on the way if the BBC, freshly without a Tory-implanted Chairman, allow this sort of blatant anti-nobbery to be seen and heard.

NB: For clarity, ‘nob’ is used throughout this post as the common colloquially-used short version of ‘nobility’ or ‘noble’, so anyone with a hereditary title is normally a nob. Any similarity to the word ‘knob’ – a common, pejoratively-used colloquialism for a penis, often used interchangeably with ‘a dick‘, is, I am sure, purely phonetic.

2 thoughts on “top nob, add title”

  1. Indeed, purely phonetic. Glad you didn’t imply they’re all a bunch of knobs (I think you’ll find the word you’re searching for is ‘parasites’, anyway).

    And…’Jug ears can swivel’. Love it!

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s